Need- defined as the fact or an instance of feeling the lack of something . Try to think of the word first. To be frank, it took me 2 days,to be exact, to finally, made up this blog. Within those moments, deep thoughts was made by me.
Yesterday, 5th of July, a strong rain hit the city. Umbrellas were open, everyone was rushing, and all is probably, wet. I,walking in the rain, holding my pink umbrella, pink bag, and my pink envelope, suddenly, thought about that "certain person". What was I thinking? Of all people, you're memories appeared in my active mind. Well, I admit, during that time, an action of that "certain person", slowly teared my heart. I didn't knew why. Why am I always affected by you? Several questions revolves in my mind, about you "certain person". I always say to myself, I wanna LET GO!, but why can't I?
The minute I stepped inside a public utility vehicle, I first settled my self. As I look at the rain, I remembered you; those words you said, 30 minutes before. Why have you said those things to me, "certain person"? You made me think that my decision was wrong. And by that time,I finally arrived with something. Something like, a CONCLUSION.
That "certain person", only remembers a person like me, when he needs me. It hurts; but just like a teacher of mine said, TRUTH HURTS; BUT TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. I wanna be free, "certain person", I wanna let go. I'm tired; I've tried; I'm confused; and I'm hurt. I wanna save myself by getting fooled by a person like you. Stop it already, I get it.
I NEED YOU, YOU NEED ME.
But you're definition of need, IS TOTALLY MISTAKEN.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I Am About To ...
What just happened,? I have no clue on what's going on. I may be thinking deeper, but i am thinking straight. I'll go directly to the point, what happened to you, "certain person"??. You magically turned to a person I hated the most. WHO ARE YOU?!, Just to be clear, I don't even know who you are anymore.
These past few weeks, I thought that you didn't changed, and for that moment I was content; but it turns out, I was completely MISTAKEN. You changed into a person that I didn't expected. I admit, I was disappointed; deeply disappointed. I don't even know what to write anymore, because of this feeling that i don't understand. I'm angry, mad, furious, but I feel like, why am I still feeling this way even though you changed? I don't understand anymore.
WOW! I wanna scream, and let this all out! I've had enough, "certain person"! For several moments, I wanted to let go, and why can't I? You're like something that i have never had before. I never acted this way, but then you, you, "certain person', came into my life.
You made me cry about you for 3 times already; but it wasn't about the "Four-Letter-Word", it was about something else. You made me a person who can think positively and realize that not everything in life, is about fantasy. Why'd you do this to me?
After a year, I'm still feeling the same way. I don't anything anymore. I always deny you, but deep inside, you are Undeniably true. I just wanna let you know, I know, one day, this will all be over. And i have been ready for that day; but for now; i hope, you'll realize, that the "certain person" I see now, is not the "certain person" I have known.
These past few weeks, I thought that you didn't changed, and for that moment I was content; but it turns out, I was completely MISTAKEN. You changed into a person that I didn't expected. I admit, I was disappointed; deeply disappointed. I don't even know what to write anymore, because of this feeling that i don't understand. I'm angry, mad, furious, but I feel like, why am I still feeling this way even though you changed? I don't understand anymore.
WOW! I wanna scream, and let this all out! I've had enough, "certain person"! For several moments, I wanted to let go, and why can't I? You're like something that i have never had before. I never acted this way, but then you, you, "certain person', came into my life.
You made me cry about you for 3 times already; but it wasn't about the "Four-Letter-Word", it was about something else. You made me a person who can think positively and realize that not everything in life, is about fantasy. Why'd you do this to me?
After a year, I'm still feeling the same way. I don't anything anymore. I always deny you, but deep inside, you are Undeniably true. I just wanna let you know, I know, one day, this will all be over. And i have been ready for that day; but for now; i hope, you'll realize, that the "certain person" I see now, is not the "certain person" I have known.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Another Step to the F.I.N.A.L.E
It's been so long already. Within those weeks, I have made the most difficult decision that I've had in my entire life; letting go of that "certain person". I have said that before, yes i did, but now, it's different. Who are you "Certain Person"? Why did you do this to me? Every night, before I faithfully close my eyes and go to my dreamland, I think about you; but why? Are you really that amazing?!; if you're Reading this "certain person", you would know the answer.
This isn't my last blog, that's my promise to all my readers and followers. I will not stop making blogs just because that "certain person"already vanished from my life; NO, i won't. "Certain person", you're just a character that my wild imaginations created, indeed, you are. I never regretted the day that I met you, but I swear, i will never forget the day that I've let you go; and that day is TODAY.
Please, I will not cry for several nights, but I will only drop one tear for that "certain person"; one tear, is what he deserves. In each day that we'll meet, I won't ignore you. if you need me, I'll be there, for I know, at times that I need you, you were there. When you come near me, I will treat like a friend of mine, wanting to talk, but not as "certain person".
End- is the word I hate. But i realized that, if I won't end this; my life would be ruined. I tried to deny that I fell for a person like you, i did, but I am more than willing to lie to myself, than ruin my life. I admit, you changed me, "certain person". Thank you for all the moments that we shared together, sorry for i left you once, and once and for all, GOODBYE, is the last word you'll hear from me, as the girl who fell in love with you.
This isn't my last blog, that's my promise to all my readers and followers. I will not stop making blogs just because that "certain person"already vanished from my life; NO, i won't. "Certain person", you're just a character that my wild imaginations created, indeed, you are. I never regretted the day that I met you, but I swear, i will never forget the day that I've let you go; and that day is TODAY.
Please, I will not cry for several nights, but I will only drop one tear for that "certain person"; one tear, is what he deserves. In each day that we'll meet, I won't ignore you. if you need me, I'll be there, for I know, at times that I need you, you were there. When you come near me, I will treat like a friend of mine, wanting to talk, but not as "certain person".
End- is the word I hate. But i realized that, if I won't end this; my life would be ruined. I tried to deny that I fell for a person like you, i did, but I am more than willing to lie to myself, than ruin my life. I admit, you changed me, "certain person". Thank you for all the moments that we shared together, sorry for i left you once, and once and for all, GOODBYE, is the last word you'll hear from me, as the girl who fell in love with you.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I Will Never Let You GO.....
Just a few days ago, something heart-breaking happened, for the "certain person" and for the person who, he thought that would complete his life as a "nearly perfect person". For all of you reading this blog, you already know what that is, refer to the first 8-10 words stated. For the "certain person", it might hurt and for "her" would seem like, "she" lost a "certain person" in her life, a "certain person" she truly ______; it's up to you, on what word you're going to place on the blank portion. Of course, it would hurt. But, after this sort of happening, we must learn to move on and realize that we have to forgive and forget.
My current tweet states, "Never regretted the day that I've met you, but always regretted the day that I've let you go"; to "her", she would, probably say that to to the person which she considers "her", "certain person". But, this blog is written especially for "her". To "her", I would sadly say that, ____ is always like that; it sometimes completes your broken soul, but sometimes it breaks your heart; now, we really need to face the truth; it ended, but I know, that your feelings for your "certain person" will never, ever VANISH.
Finally, to "her", this is just the beginning, of your colorful life, full of joy and ____. I know, no matter what happens, you will forever say to your "certain person" that, "I Will Never Let You Go".....
My current tweet states, "Never regretted the day that I've met you, but always regretted the day that I've let you go"; to "her", she would, probably say that to to the person which she considers "her", "certain person". But, this blog is written especially for "her". To "her", I would sadly say that, ____ is always like that; it sometimes completes your broken soul, but sometimes it breaks your heart; now, we really need to face the truth; it ended, but I know, that your feelings for your "certain person" will never, ever VANISH.
Finally, to "her", this is just the beginning, of your colorful life, full of joy and ____. I know, no matter what happens, you will forever say to your "certain person" that, "I Will Never Let You Go".....
Sunday, March 6, 2011
"C.R.Y"
CRY. A "three-letter-word". A person can be clearly described crying if he/she shed tears. But, I'll get straight to the point, why do we cry?
Just last night, I cried. Why? There was one reason, and one reason only, why I cried. Simple. I cried because I realize a mistake I did that can change my life forever. Several weeks ago, I cried thrice because of, the "certain person". For all my friends, who knows the "certain person" is, we can really describe "him" as a person who is clearly near to the "perfect" status. I cried, because of the "certain person", I cried because of you. WHY? Since then, there was one reason only, and that is, INSECURITY. There, I finally said it. I'm insecured. Of course, as a teenager, we can't avoid to feel insecured and sometimes, we even ask ourselves, "Why can't I have that?" You might even start to realize that life can sometimes be unfair. Yes, it is true. But, you "certain person", you always kills me with insecurity. There was even one time, that a classmate of mine asked me, "What's your current wish, (designsbydcd)?"; you know what i said, "To have everything, what the "certain person" has." Simple, frank, and also, confidently said.
To the "certain person", thank you for making me cry, for I believe, "A dream will always start from the first drop of a tear, from the eye of a dreamer."
Just last night, I cried. Why? There was one reason, and one reason only, why I cried. Simple. I cried because I realize a mistake I did that can change my life forever. Several weeks ago, I cried thrice because of, the "certain person". For all my friends, who knows the "certain person" is, we can really describe "him" as a person who is clearly near to the "perfect" status. I cried, because of the "certain person", I cried because of you. WHY? Since then, there was one reason only, and that is, INSECURITY. There, I finally said it. I'm insecured. Of course, as a teenager, we can't avoid to feel insecured and sometimes, we even ask ourselves, "Why can't I have that?" You might even start to realize that life can sometimes be unfair. Yes, it is true. But, you "certain person", you always kills me with insecurity. There was even one time, that a classmate of mine asked me, "What's your current wish, (designsbydcd)?"; you know what i said, "To have everything, what the "certain person" has." Simple, frank, and also, confidently said.
To the "certain person", thank you for making me cry, for I believe, "A dream will always start from the first drop of a tear, from the eye of a dreamer."
Friday, March 4, 2011
The "Four-Letter-Word"
When a person would hear this expression, there is only one thing that comes to their minds. For the person who's reading this, you probably know what that is. It's a word that's difficult to say but easy to express. We feel this "Four-Letter-Word" every second of our lives, it is the reason why we wake up each morning, ready to face the challenges of life. For others, this "Four-Letter-Word" is amazing, but for me, I'm afraid to encounter such thing.
This "Four-Letter-Word" makes me alive, but when this "Four-Letter-Word" comes to my way (literally), it would probably be the start of my hardest trial. To that "certain person", you actually don't know this, but you made me feel this "Four-Letter-Word". For those who are shocked, just try to relax. I'm not really that kind of person who can't control herself; but yes it is true, "HE" made me feel that, especially during the times that he rescues me whenever I'm in trouble.
On my previous blog, I was mad, but, really, life is always like that. One second, you're mad, then the next minute, you'd realize that you are lucky enough to have something worth fighting for; but now, in this blog, i can say that, the "certain person" made me a person who can clearly and wonderfully define, describe and finally, LOVE this "FOUR-LETTER-WORD"............
This "Four-Letter-Word" makes me alive, but when this "Four-Letter-Word" comes to my way (literally), it would probably be the start of my hardest trial. To that "certain person", you actually don't know this, but you made me feel this "Four-Letter-Word". For those who are shocked, just try to relax. I'm not really that kind of person who can't control herself; but yes it is true, "HE" made me feel that, especially during the times that he rescues me whenever I'm in trouble.
On my previous blog, I was mad, but, really, life is always like that. One second, you're mad, then the next minute, you'd realize that you are lucky enough to have something worth fighting for; but now, in this blog, i can say that, the "certain person" made me a person who can clearly and wonderfully define, describe and finally, LOVE this "FOUR-LETTER-WORD"............
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
IT Turns Out "WRONG"......
In the beginning of this blog, I'll be straight. It was just "wrong", capital W, R, O, N, G. "HE", the "certain person" was a BIG mistake. If you were reading this right know, these following words will come out from my mouth and punched in your heart and soul,
" At first, you made feel like an angel, and you, you were my precious wings; Second, you made me realize that anger can be converted with love and courage; Third, you made me a person who can appreciate the beauty of life; and finally you made me a who can define the word 'mistake'."
This might be one of my vicious words that I'm going to say to that "certain person". You had covered a certain part of my heart, which had been holed over this years. I thank you, i hate you, and i _________!
Now, it indeed, turned out WRONG. You, "certain person" is a mistake that filled my heart with one important lesson, the biggest mistake of a person's heart, is to give her entire heart and soul, for the person who doesn't even deserve it; and I'm referring to you, "certain person".
Lastly, thank for making me realize the will of mistakes that made me ____ YOU!!!
" At first, you made feel like an angel, and you, you were my precious wings; Second, you made me realize that anger can be converted with love and courage; Third, you made me a person who can appreciate the beauty of life; and finally you made me a who can define the word 'mistake'."
This might be one of my vicious words that I'm going to say to that "certain person". You had covered a certain part of my heart, which had been holed over this years. I thank you, i hate you, and i _________!
Now, it indeed, turned out WRONG. You, "certain person" is a mistake that filled my heart with one important lesson, the biggest mistake of a person's heart, is to give her entire heart and soul, for the person who doesn't even deserve it; and I'm referring to you, "certain person".
Lastly, thank for making me realize the will of mistakes that made me ____ YOU!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
It Hurts Now
Just a week ago, the revelation happened, and if you have read my previous blog, you would know, or I could say, it involves with the word "her". The "certain person" was happily living life with "her".
After they made it official, I was like, "who cares!". I wasn't affected, i was confident enough that it will not come to the point that they will took it publicly; but now, I've realized that i was just pretending. I was forcing myself to believe that nothing even happened; but now, I've realized that i was wrong. It was like a nightmare that by the time I'll wake up it will magically vanish, but it didn't. It was already happening in real life. But what is this thing that stops me from making foolish things to him, I don't get it. When i searched on google, there is one word, that blew my mind, and it was, (secret).......It's a word that I'm afraid to encounter, a word that, I can call, my weakness.
For the person who's reading this, you're probabaly excited for the next chapter of my life. Life is full of tricks, twists, and foolishness.but you can't control and fool LIFE!
After they made it official, I was like, "who cares!". I wasn't affected, i was confident enough that it will not come to the point that they will took it publicly; but now, I've realized that i was just pretending. I was forcing myself to believe that nothing even happened; but now, I've realized that i was wrong. It was like a nightmare that by the time I'll wake up it will magically vanish, but it didn't. It was already happening in real life. But what is this thing that stops me from making foolish things to him, I don't get it. When i searched on google, there is one word, that blew my mind, and it was, (secret).......It's a word that I'm afraid to encounter, a word that, I can call, my weakness.
For the person who's reading this, you're probabaly excited for the next chapter of my life. Life is full of tricks, twists, and foolishness.but you can't control and fool LIFE!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Unexpected Twist
Everybody in this world, lives a life which might surprise you. Happenings that are truly unexpected. One day, you are living like a princess, jewelries here, designer bags there; then the next day, you would wake up, living in a cheap apartment. Life is full of twists, twists that sometimes made us rise, and twists that mostly made us loose the confidence to smile, especially to the person who is part of that unexpected twist.
Well, I am also a victim of life's way of making a person, like me, realize the power of love. Just a few weeks ago, I was happily inspired by his concern thoughts, but now, he has person who would, he considers, completes his heart, as an incomplete person. You probably know what I'm saying, if you think harder; and I'm referring to the "certain person". I can honestly say, this unexpected twist, made me an uncomfortable person, especially, when he talks to me, and i can't look straight on him. "He" made me feel that no matter how confident you feel about him, for he cares about you so much, you will never know what Love's plan is, for you, and for that "certain person".
Lastly, for that "certain person" i faithfully, let go of you. Enjoy this life, and enjoy your life with "her"....
Well, I am also a victim of life's way of making a person, like me, realize the power of love. Just a few weeks ago, I was happily inspired by his concern thoughts, but now, he has person who would, he considers, completes his heart, as an incomplete person. You probably know what I'm saying, if you think harder; and I'm referring to the "certain person". I can honestly say, this unexpected twist, made me an uncomfortable person, especially, when he talks to me, and i can't look straight on him. "He" made me feel that no matter how confident you feel about him, for he cares about you so much, you will never know what Love's plan is, for you, and for that "certain person".
Lastly, for that "certain person" i faithfully, let go of you. Enjoy this life, and enjoy your life with "her"....
Friday, February 11, 2011
Maybe I Was Wrong
WOW!!!!!!!!! It has been a long time, since I wrote my previous blog; and within those days, several things had happened. Things that made me laugh, and things that made me realize that maybe, I was just wrong. A realization that I never thought would happen.
Few days ago, everything was fine, then just for a while, things have already changed. Change is constant in this world. My feelings for him had changed and he, the "certain person" had changed. It is truly true, you will never know what a person is made of. One time, you would think that he's the one, then the next time, you would wish that you've never met him. Yes, i would hope for that to happen.
Now, everything has changed............and my mind is totally blocked......for things can sometimes change a person..................a person you would thought...the person who will make you feel every feeling in this world, feelings which you think never existed................
Few days ago, everything was fine, then just for a while, things have already changed. Change is constant in this world. My feelings for him had changed and he, the "certain person" had changed. It is truly true, you will never know what a person is made of. One time, you would think that he's the one, then the next time, you would wish that you've never met him. Yes, i would hope for that to happen.
Now, everything has changed............and my mind is totally blocked......for things can sometimes change a person..................a person you would thought...the person who will make you feel every feeling in this world, feelings which you think never existed................
Sunday, January 16, 2011
What Is It With That "Certain Person"?
Days have past, tears have dried, and feelings have faded. all these things have already happened, but I keep asking myself, what is it with that "certain person". If that "certain person"is reading this, I think, you already know who you are. But let me ask you, who are you really?
I've known you for more than 6 months, but how did you do this? Wow, if I'm going to think harder, you are truly amazing, more than amazing, you are POWERFUL! a girl like me is really hard to get fooled, but you, you did it. You just stared at me, and I feel like I'm being hypnotized, and when you are there, being concerned about me, I feel like an angel is always willing to catch me whenever I fall. You did all those things, and maybe you just don't know that.
On my previous blog, I let all my anger out, but after that night, I am already contented. with everything that I said, i think it is just useless.Every time I'll see you, all my regrets of meeting you will be gone like a wind; and when we argue about some things that are sometimes considered useless, we will just both laugh at the end.
You made me believe that, I can have everything in this unpredicted world, and truly made me a better and more inspired person....................Thank you very much for being part of my life,...............................................................
"C..............................E......................R............T...............................A...........I.............N
..............................P........E............R.............................S..................O.............N"
I've known you for more than 6 months, but how did you do this? Wow, if I'm going to think harder, you are truly amazing, more than amazing, you are POWERFUL! a girl like me is really hard to get fooled, but you, you did it. You just stared at me, and I feel like I'm being hypnotized, and when you are there, being concerned about me, I feel like an angel is always willing to catch me whenever I fall. You did all those things, and maybe you just don't know that.
On my previous blog, I let all my anger out, but after that night, I am already contented. with everything that I said, i think it is just useless.Every time I'll see you, all my regrets of meeting you will be gone like a wind; and when we argue about some things that are sometimes considered useless, we will just both laugh at the end.
You made me believe that, I can have everything in this unpredicted world, and truly made me a better and more inspired person....................Thank you very much for being part of my life,...............................................................
"C..............................E......................R............T...............................A...........I.............N
..............................P........E............R.............................S..................O.............N"
Thursday, January 13, 2011
"SCRIPTED"
- a statement which you would think that would mean, that a person is being told of a what he will do or something like, everything is planned & done in a purpose, or shall I say, personal purpose.
When you give love to "certain person", it is not a sin nor a mistake. But what if you realize that, that "certain person", is only concern and does care about you for one condition: personal intention; in short, being self-centered. The point is, what if you guys are stuck between your feelings and one of the important things in your life as a student. well, for a student who's reading this blog, you must know what that is...Of course, when you are stuck in that kind of situation, there is 1 thing that is always present, COMPETITION. We can't avoid being compared by each other and of course, the one side will feel good, and the other..........something............discouraging......
So, that "certain person" probably need something to get back to his territory......( guess what it is )......For some people there is no other way...but the bad way....something that could hurt another person..........
When I knew this situation, i felt like the Earth,the sun, and the moon collided inside my heart.....I can't even believe that i fell for it. He fooled me, but he will never will again......
I won't let him.
From this day forward, I have learned that, no matter how long you've known that "certain person", there's always a hidden part of a person's soul.
When you give love to "certain person", it is not a sin nor a mistake. But what if you realize that, that "certain person", is only concern and does care about you for one condition: personal intention; in short, being self-centered. The point is, what if you guys are stuck between your feelings and one of the important things in your life as a student. well, for a student who's reading this blog, you must know what that is...Of course, when you are stuck in that kind of situation, there is 1 thing that is always present, COMPETITION. We can't avoid being compared by each other and of course, the one side will feel good, and the other..........something............discouraging......
So, that "certain person" probably need something to get back to his territory......( guess what it is )......For some people there is no other way...but the bad way....something that could hurt another person..........
When I knew this situation, i felt like the Earth,the sun, and the moon collided inside my heart.....I can't even believe that i fell for it. He fooled me, but he will never will again......
I won't let him.
From this day forward, I have learned that, no matter how long you've known that "certain person", there's always a hidden part of a person's soul.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Everybody Makes Mistakes
- A line from Miley Cyrus' song 'Nobody's Perfect". A phrase that we can relate. It's the excuse that we made everytime that we made one, either way, it's true. Everybody makes mistakes, ( a statement by the blogger ) everybody does; even celebrities do, and mostly even I do.........
Anger- in my opinion we all have that in each of us. Sometimes, when anger is present in our hearts, we do something bad, that will make a simple situation, worst. No one can blame me for being angry. By the time you'll realize that you have a friend to trust, but something worth being angry for is going to happen. Something like, that person had kept for a few weeks, but when the truth will be revealed, you will feel like, a huge stone had been thrown in your heart. I know, I have the right to feel like this, especially, the lie was just a joke, but can make a person feel down. A lie like for example, something you've been working so hard, but that person, which happens to be your friend, will be the one who will make suffer from getting it.
When she told me truth, i felt like, I'm being played by a person who doesn't even know. But know, what she did was just a simple joke. So, from that time I realize some jokes are not just funny.........
Anger- in my opinion we all have that in each of us. Sometimes, when anger is present in our hearts, we do something bad, that will make a simple situation, worst. No one can blame me for being angry. By the time you'll realize that you have a friend to trust, but something worth being angry for is going to happen. Something like, that person had kept for a few weeks, but when the truth will be revealed, you will feel like, a huge stone had been thrown in your heart. I know, I have the right to feel like this, especially, the lie was just a joke, but can make a person feel down. A lie like for example, something you've been working so hard, but that person, which happens to be your friend, will be the one who will make suffer from getting it.
When she told me truth, i felt like, I'm being played by a person who doesn't even know. But know, what she did was just a simple joke. So, from that time I realize some jokes are not just funny.........
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